So tonight we made Bossk Brownies. If you know that Bossk was a bounty hunter after Chewie and Han then you are a geek too. I did not know I am proud to report. I thought the bounty hunter after them was that green guy.
Juan now likes to ski down the hill backwards. He leaves the tow rope, starts skiing down forwards then turns his skis uphill and goes down backwards. It's pretty funny, but I'm glad we finally put him in a helmet this time. Don't worry, we'll get him a real skiing helmet for next year. Mary Lu put skis on this week too, just to walk around in. She liked being on the skis, but did not like the boots--who does?! So, she had fun on the skis for a few minutes and then she was done. We were hanging out by a booth where they were blasting reggae (it was "Crazy Days" at Sitzmark) and she was totally into it. She was getting all groovy with the high school girls in the booth. She just thinks older girls are fascinating. In the first photo here you can see her grooving.
There's all kinds of development happening around here. More Veranda Beach cottages are going in around the lake this year and these will be million dollar homes. My love of the Veranda Beach design is no secret, but the concept is troubling. These giant homes around the lake (put in by non-local developers, obviously) stand empty most of the year while many locals live in some seriously decrepit housing. They are also going to put in a new fancy golf course over there. While I'm sure it will be beautiful, we already have a golf course on the other side of town (both are outside city limits). What we need are some playgrounds, trails around the lake, better planned and maintained parks. There is very little public land around the lake and this is, in addition to the poor condition of the parks and buildings in town, is what is really troubling. It is not a town designed with the locals in mind. Oh, I know it's not a new phenomenon, just new to be seeing it develop first hand I suppose. Until I drag myself to a community planning meeting, that's all I'll vent on the topic.
Juan wants to paint his room purple and get a mohawk. Three year old angst apparently. John and I haven't discussed the purple thing yet. Juan is scheduled for a haircut in a couple weeks anyway. I'm thinking about letting him get a tame one, that can be easily lobbed off when it's time.
I've been thinking a lot about more children. I'm feeling pre-pregnancy guilt. My aunt Sandy (who's in some of these photos with the kids) had four children. I talked to her recently about how I was worried about having another child and having even less time to devote to Juan and Mary Lu exclusively. She reacted as if this perspective were completely foreign to her which was my first eye opener. She said that the best thing in the world is for children to have siblings, that that relationship is more important and it's what they learn the most from. Initially, this was a huge relief to me and I felt like I had been looking at it in a selfish way. That it is ME who will miss individual time with them, but that it is best for them to have each other. It did remind me, too, of an article I read just a little over a year ago I guess, about how siblings are our only true life partners. I loved this article and I totally agreed with it and it also served to really cement my desire to have more children, to create this community for them. A friend also told me once that a sibling is the only one who really, really knows what it was like to grow up in your family, they're the only one who's really in your "tribe." This also all rings true for me. Still, I feel guilty. I've realized in the past day or two that I may never be the mother I want to be. It occurred to me that I have lost some of my, for lack of a better word, mo-jo in the past year and a half. I have an image of myself as a confident and ambitious woman, a mother confident in my ideals and values and playful and loving in my relationship with my child. Then, over the last year and a half, I lost that. I question myself, I question my questioning. I started to see this ideal of a mother and if I couldn't achieve her, then I was failing. She is calm, always emotionally together, always putting the needs of her child ahead of her own, a loving wife, a role model always, house is always clean, chores done while playfully bantering and laughing with the kids, oh I know this must be an image somewhat universally aspired to, but what I am really getting at is this when I put this on paper, when I think it out, it's NOT what I want for myself because it's not who I am. Truthfully this all sounds a bit like Nurse Ratched Mom to me (in soothing monotones, ("no, juan, you can't have a mohawk because you didn't put away your trains." (Juan, hysterically crying and begging for a mohawk) "now calm down and let's listen to raffi, the time for discussing mohawks is over." What I want is to be at peace with being the mom I am, confident and striving to be the best version of me. Crap, now I killed it because I sound like Oprah. Well, a much more interesting version of this is what's playing in my head a lot these days.
These photos also include Mary Lu and Juan with chopsticks. These are popular with them right now. Mary Lu honestly took about half a second to figure out how to stab her noodles and cucumbers with her chopstick and put feed herself. It was amazing.
Tonight I watched Two and Half Men (don't judge me) and I had a really hard time seeing "Duckie" in a polo shirt. Also of note this week, if you watch "The Wire" (and how could you not), my dad told me about Omar before I watched last week's episode. I'm still in disbelief, someday I'm going hit you with a serious spoiler, dad. Honestly though, has there ever been a better show than The Wire? No. Other shows that are great, sure (Battlestar Gallactica is awesome, but they have to lay off the poignant celtic music) but nothing compares. I mean, they even know when to stop. Has any show EVER known when it's time to stop. No. An entire generation of tv viewers was ruined by The X Files. I still sporadically curse Chris Carter.
Also here are photos of: John sleeping when we visited Aunt Sandy and a couple Bald Eagles (totally cool).
Mary Lu checks out the DJ
Aren't they off the hook?
